Dialogue 3 Segment 2
At 05:17 PM 11/14/2000 +0000, you wrote:
C: Dear Michael,
Sorry I missed your call yesterday, while I was out wandering in the field. I look forward to talking to you, sooner or later.
M: There was a flood of extension to you. Humans tend to experience turbulence at points of transition, and the call was intended to embrace you.
C: Last night I had a dream (sound like Martin Luther King) where I went into a bar and went upstairs, where I could look out over the ground floor. A man who was pursuing me came in, and came out into the middle of the ground floor, looking up at me on the balcony. He was wearing jeans and a red shirt, but had a darth vadar mask on. Subtle. 'A' then came into the bar and went up to the man. I thought, 'oh no, there's going to be a fight,' and didn't want 'A' to get involved. The darth vadar man went back into the edges, and his lieutenant went up to talk to 'A'. They conferred, the man put his arm on 'A''s shoulders and looked up at me several times. 'A' was belligerant, but the man seemed to be talking him down. I felt that they had business w/me, and 'A' needed to stay out of the way. The assistant seemed to be explaining to 'A' that this was mine to deal with, and he needed to back off.
M: Yes. 'A', in the form of most males, would have a tendency to protect by reflex rather than to observe, and since this has been demonstrated in 1st attention life to you, it would be in your consciousness. When confronted by an image as "vader", on the next occasion, simply stare at him and extend yourself by will into an inquiry of what the presence is about.
C: This morning, when 'A' & I talked, it seemed to both of us that this was a message for him, and me, that I need to handle my own problems.
M: Partially, yes, and partially that there ARE times when observation is the most appropriate action, rather than rushing into a proactive mode with insufficient information about what the processes may be.
C: 'A' often worries about me, and wants to protect me. Especially when I travel, he feels like he has to 'ward' me, or put out protective wards, so nothing bad will happen to me. He has done this for a long time.
M: Seems like an appropriate "male" loving response. By protecting you, he is also protecting himself because he has investment in you OF himself.
C: I have asked him to quit this warding, if he can. After some debate, (seems like we can't do anything w/out some debate) he grudgingly agreed. Is it possible that his warding could get in the way of my testing, interfere w/allies approach to me?
M: No, at least not in second attention approaches. That said, the link between you will impact both of you. It might be recalled that on my first response to 'A''s ping, my extension was "to you as a couple" and perhaps this requirement can be emphasized through these interactions. It would not be reasonable, even vaguely, that interacting with you as individuals, impacts both of you - and this is intended into a depth that might not be yet within your consciousness.
C: I asked him, doesn't he trust me to handle my own affairs? I may be female, but I'm not weak.
M: It's not trust, but a normal male reaction to "protect" what he loves dearly. For both of your evolution, it would be more expansive to hold the commit and the feeling of love, undiminished, with an increased "observer" method of interacting, and trusting in both of you to be immediately proactive when and if required. Having said that, it will probably not be necessary to be activated into those protective modes.
C: I have to admit, that I have appreciated his warding in the past. It has brought me comfort and a feeling of safety.
Today he has been cranky and short tempered, though mostly not in my direction. It is strange, dealing on these different levels.
M: It would be interesting, separately, to exchange bits with him on the short and cranky part to expose what underlies those processes, and what frustrations and issues invoke those energy wastes.
Michael
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At 09:07 AM 11/15/2000 +0000, you wrote:
C: Dear Michael,
Thanks for your response, didn't expect to hear from you until later in the week. I'm glad that you said the 'warding' would not get in the way of 2nd level approaches. Both of us enjoy 'A''s warding of me. It would be better for us if we can get to the point where we loving observe each other and not jump in w/both feet so quickly.
M: <smile> Reflexes are, well, reflexes and these often are not understood. Sometimes loving requires observation, not impulsive action.
C: "M: No, at least not in second attention approaches. That said, the link between you will impact both of you. It might be recalled that on my first response to 'A''s ping, my extension was "to you as a couple" and perhaps this requirement can be emphasized through these interactions. It would not be reasonable, even vaguely, that interacting with you as individuals, impacts both of you - and this is intended into a depth that might not be yet within your consciousness."
Re the above: I pick up conflicting impressions from the above. Your initial extension to us as a couple seems to say the couple interconnectiveness will prevail, but your next line, about it not being reasonable that interacting w/us as individuals impacts both of us, seems to say the opposite.
M: Actually, the above from myself was mis-stated. My intent, will, efforts are always toward the individual, without question. When there is engagement with individuals who are also a couple, then the interaction of the couple tends to take care of itself. If there is unconditional love between the couple, then there is no question that impacting one also impacts the other of the pair. My extension to you is toward each of you as individuals, without question, lovingly, privately. There is also no question that as you both evolve your impeccability, the relationship between you both also will evolve in a commensurate manner, if for no other reason your both committing to "the way of knowledge", yields a common bond that few in humanity ever achieve.
C: I have always had hangups (60's) about being viewed as a couple, seeing it as limiting. I would then feel responsible for 'A''s behaviour, that what he did reflected on me. At times he did things I didn't like, usually involved w/drinking, and this would embarrass me. I have tried to have my cake and eat it too, to have him as a steady partner when I wanted it, and to be independent when I wanted it.
M: Hope the above clarifies my hasty prior response.
C: Bet RM rarely causes you problems w/others, especially in public. She's probably too evolved of a being to embarrass you in a social setting, drinking too much, flirting too much, causing hostilities.
M: RM can flirt, especially when she was younger, but now she doesn't have that need. We, in general, do not have offsets especially that would surface in public. In our younger years, we could indeed get into stupid and arrogant discussions particularly with alcoholic intake, but that was long ago.
C: 'A' can get hostile and start flaming others, or just generally raising hell, and this would impact me.
M: Waste of energy in the interest of self-importance or entertainment at the expense of others.
C: The next day, I had to deal w/the comments from the other women, usually, about 'my man being a problem'. The end result has been we spend very little time in such situations any more, and I usually travel alone. (Side issue - do you think I am an empath?
M: Yes, however I think you have setup conditions to effectively block those abilities. The conditions perceived are self-denial, withdrawal, and mind noise into other distractions.
C: I do not seem to have the problems of the bi polar swings and being overwhelmed in crowds as 'A', and others described, appear to. I am often able to pick up on what others want or are concerned about, but not w/the intensity of feelings that cause problems.) My attempt to deal w/'A''s abrasiveness has been to say 'its his body, his money and his time, so its his problem', but this hasn't always allowed me to escape responsibility for it. I have a problem w/being held responsible for someone else's actions.
M: Understood.
C: As 'A' mentions in his e-mail today, he often prefers 'hiding out' and the camper gives him a safe cocoon. Our preferred style of living has shown to be 2 separate abodes, close enough to walk to, but w/our own individual space to retreat to. Even though we would probably spend 6 nights out of 7 each week sleeping together.
M: It's an interesting method of finding a balance between you. For a great deal of our time together, my client-travel had me "on the road" (really, "in the air") for about 200 days/year, and we were very used to being separate dealing with life's issues separately. In 1986, 14 years ago, we took seven weeks and traveled (literally) around the planet. That was the first time in a relationship then 8 years in duration, that we had been together each night for 7 weeks. After the trip, we both confessed that we had separately wondered if we would "like" each other, not having had the experience other than (primarily) weekends together. We did. We travel very well. From 1986 to 1997, that amount of time together didn't occur again until then, 1997, and now we enjoy just being around each other. We do have separate activities, RM with jumping horses, art, but we go to performance arts, symphonies, caberet, plays-performances, and movie-dates quite a bit.
C: Just the illusion of having a place to go to and call one's own was a comfort. I wish I had a private place where I could be alone right now, and it is very difficult in this small camper. I try to go for walks but there aren't any good private woods where one can get away from others around here. We aren't going to be here long enough to set up a separate place. One big disadvantage of traveling like we do. Maybe next fall when we come back to Rockport, we'll rent a small house for me, and then 'A' could stay in the camper and we could get together when we both want.
C: I have just read Chopra's Way of the Wizard. The first part seemed a little cute, but the last part seemed very pertinent. Especially the 7 steps to alchemy, step 5 - the birth of the seeker. A lot of that was right out of your dialogues. Of course, much of what he says is also right out of zen, and probably many other teachings. He doesn't claim its original w/him. 'A' was annoyed at Chopra, saying he had lifted it from other sources, but I said he is just making some obscure sources more available to the current western mind, and good for him.
M: Yes. My own opinions about even what has occurred to myself as "being original" are also well founded in history. It was surprising to learn on study how much that was thought by and for myself to "be original" has been recorded in antiquity.
C: I particularly liked his analogy of the carriage and horses, the horses being the ego who have never felt a driver, and now the spirit voice inside the carriage is trying to exert some control, saying stop. The horses run faster, not listening, sure that ego's power is absolute. "With the birth of the seeker, this is the voice you start to hear, but you must be prepared for a violent reaction from the ego, which alter all is not going to surender its power without a struggle." I think this is what 'A' is going through right now, as he gets closer to the spirit his ego addictions are fighting for their lives. This would make anyone cranky and short tempered. Your turbulence you warn of.
M: Understood. The human form can really tear at one until "the self" is truly exposed into knowledge.
C: I don't mean to sound superior, I'm creating plenty of turbulence of my own. My ego is desperately trying to "control, predict and defend". These 3 things are items that have been very important to me, that I prided myself on being able to do. The dropping of defenses and being open to what comes, to trusting to will and intent, to allowing oneself to be vulnerable, is scary stuff to me. Chopra's line "The ego's power is absurdly limited and trivial. However, this realization will dawn only after you have surrendered the ego's need to control, predict and defend" nailed me.
M: <smile>
C: More Chopra "The inward marks of the seeker are these: giving becomes motivated by selfless love and compassion, wanting nothing in return not even gratitude,(your comment to me when I thanked you for your love); intuition becomes a trustworthy guide to action(something 'A' has trouble with)." "These signs will be accompanied by growing enjoyment of solitude, by self-reliance in place of social approval, by stirrings of Being, and by a willingness to trust. Addictive patterns will start to disappear. Mediation and prayer will become a part of daily life. Yet as all these spiritual manifestations pull you away from the material world, you will find, paradoxically, a deeper connection to nature, more comfort in your body, and easier acceptance of other people." I felt these paragraphs were written for the 2 of us.
M: They are, of course, written for all seekers and at the point of crossing that you both are approaching, they are certainly apropos.
C: My ideal place right now would be if we were in some sort of monastery or retreat, where everyone had their own separate cell, where one could mediate, study, write, read, think and work w/other like minded folk. I feel like an alcholic, needing to change my friends from the old group that just reinforces the drinking behaviour to some new friends w/different interests. Almost all of my friends are environmentalists, conservationists, fascinated by birds, butterflies, etc. I get mostly e-mails from those working on subtle distinctions of butterfly ID's from our Mexican trips, etc. I really don't have much interest in these things right now, but there is no one else to talk to about this more important and much more fascinating arena, except 'A' of course. Being in south Texas, there aren't exactly many yoga centers or nudists colonies. Wish there were.
M: Yes. The concept that you perceive would facilitate both of you.
C: 'A' mentions his seeing the neurologist yesterday. His right hand needs surgery for carpal tunnel, the sooner the better. 'A' needs to check w/Blue Cross of California and see if they will pay for the surgery here in Texas. He has not been able to change health insurance to a Texas company, due to preexisting conditions, including the drinking. If BC won't pay, we may be coming back to California for a month or so. 'A' is resisting this, but I am pushing to get the surgery done before we take off for Mexico.
M: Individuals that I've known with this surgery have taken a fair time to heal, so there will be inconvenience.
C: Even if we don't do Mexico at all this winter, his hand is more important. Don't know why he is resistant, but yesterday I asked him, what if it was my hand? He would be quick to wait for the surgery, and whatever was needed. He had no response.
Anyway, this turned into a much longer e-mail than I expected. Talking to you always seems to just create more to talk about. Thanks as always for your patience.
M: You are welcome. I "may" try to telephone tomorrow, perhaps about noon Texas time, but that is not certain.
Love
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At 04:34 PM 11/16/2000 +0000, you wrote:
C: Dear Michael,
M: Greetings! Have a bit of time before preparing for a presentation tonight.
C: It was interesting talking to you today. Amazing to realize we were on the phone so long, and didn't manage to ask some of the questions I've had. Appreciate the fact that you let me ask some personal background questions, sort of fill in some gaps. Your openness is much appreciated.
M: It would be quite imbalanced if you were exposing yourself openly to myself but were somehow partitioned from the reciprocal, so it just maintains balance.
C: What are some ways that one can eliminate the blocks in the way of becoming more empathic? You mentioned in your e-mail that you perceived, in my case, self-denial, withdrawal and mind noise into other distractions. You mentioned in our talk using birding as a distraction. So should I do less birding?
M: Not at all, and actually it might facilitate learning yourself simply by utilizing a different approach. Yes, look at birds, but FEEL humans around you as THEY look at birds. Open yourself. Feel.
C: How do I work on riding myself of self-denial and withdrawal?
M: You are already doing so. Opening to myself is part of the process. Opening to feeling is the next part of the process. That will facilitate more as the process continues. If you want an experiment, locate anyone you know, but preferably not 'A'. You could locate anyone at all, but in a public setting you would have to be stealthy. In either setting, place your body next to the person. If it's someone you know, you could stand in front or back. Close your eyes, and just "feel", and "feel" not just with your mind but throughout your body. Feel for electricity, tingling, temperature (hot or cold), drafts (hot or cold) and pressure. If a stranger, perhaps you could go to a shopping mall and find someone window shopping. Stand alongside the person as if you were window shopping. Feel.
C: I have always thought I was somewhat of an empath, quick at 'reading' others wants, needs and desires. But it would be a good thing to actualize these abilities to a greater degree, and I would like to understand some concrete methods to work on. Any ideas? Can you describe to me some more of the abilities of being an empath?
M: I'm going to purposefully hold back on that until you have a bit more of intended experience, noted above by example, rather than inadvertent experience. You will be able to "report" your experiences and then these can be expanded.
C: Another question, is there only 1 world wide consortium? That would make sense, now that one thinks about it. We are all 'grid members', if we evolve enough. (Love that line.) So there is only 1 giant grid.
M: Yes, in effect. We are "connected" to the extend of always being aware, but not always conjoined.
C: Another question, that I started to ask but got derailed, if you no longer have any mentors, how are you continuing to evolve in this level?
M: There is an ability to conjoin and by stating that I have no mentors, in amplification of that it should be said that I have none who are remaining in organic form.
C: By teaching those of us who approach you?
M: Partially, because every "candidate" tends to "test" in varying ways, and through that process impeccability is verified.
C: Do you know of any others like yourself currently?
M: Not directly.
C: 'A' said that by teaching something, one learns it much better, that you teach what you most need to learn.
M: That is true if there is anything "tentative" about what is being stated.
C: Is this how you are evolving, having to work to put concepts into words to help out those of us who ask, without giving us too much information before we are ready, or before we figure it out on our own?
M: Partially, yes. What you have said is true and basically can be summarized as "efficiency" for the exchange of information and energy.
C: You repeated the warning about everything will change forever if I continue on this path, and also talked about the way others will perceive me will change as I do. It seems as if I'm fighting my way out of an egg as a new hatchling, and the egg is starting to crack.
M: An appropriate allegory.
C: Once it cracks, and I tumble out wet and sticky, I will never be able to put the shell back together and crawl back inside. But why would I want to stuff myself back into the egg, when instead I can spread my wings and fly through the sky, or wherever I want to?
M: It has happened or rare occasion, but the price to go back into regression, once "out" is terrible. There ARE individuals who are determined to be Eagle Snacks, not even a meal, and there is nothing anyone can do to halt those predispositions unless they commit to themselves.
C: Last night I dreamed of being back in the house I grew up in, in my old bedroom for the night. Someone rang the doorbell at 2 in the morning, and I didn't answer because I was afraid. I was alone in the house. There was a large pack of dogs in the room w/me, and later they ran to the door and wanted out. So I let them out, and they ran to the front door of the house. This time I went along, and the door was open. I had locked it before going to bed. There were more dogs outside, so I got them all in the house, about 9 of them. Then I heard voices from the bedroom next to mine, that was my brother's, Roy, the one who disappeared back in 84. He was talking w/someone else, and I was excited, glad to see him after all this time. However, before I went to his door and knocked, I was distracted by something burning in the kitchen. I went in there, and there was a large can of fuel, propane or something like that, w/a burner on top w/a large blue flame, like a stove burner. I had to work to blow out the flame, because it seemed dangerous to leave it burning in the kitchen by itself. I woke up before I could go talk to my brother. 'A' says that whatever was at the door at 2AM was an ally, that if I had gone to the door w/out fear and opened it, I could have found out what it wanted. How do I learn to not keep showing fear?
M: Simple: learn that in the second attention, "being yourself, open and revealed" with the ability to impact any outcome by your will without words or actions but just by the pressure and power of intent, will cause your environment to adapt to you. Do not use words to communicate, use telepathic thought.
C: I would not open the door in the first level if I was alone in a house and someone was knocking in the middle of the night.
Can you send me the info on the web site for nudists, por favor? I would enjoy having some places to go where I could freely be outdoors naked. Thanks again.
M: Certainly. www.aanr.com
The best in the USA is probably that one plus Cypress Grove in Florida. Paradise Lakes, North of Tampa, is a whole subdivision with about 400 housing units, but I've been told that for some, it's far too commercial to be relaxing.
Love
Michael
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At 10:22 AM 11/17/2000 +0000, you wrote:
C: Dear Michael,
Do you think there are things such as power spots?
M: There are indeed places of "unique energy", and occasionally they might be called "powerspots" at least in CC terms. Since, though, the perceptions that can flood one within these locations is not always enhancing, "power" is, for myself at least, something of misnomer.
C: When we go to Spain this spring, we may spend some time in southwest Britain, Cornwall area. A friend of mine really likes Glastonbury, she claims it is a power spot and has ley lines running there. If there are power spots, which has always seemed feasible to me, than should one go there, spend time there? Can one learn or gain anything from these places?
M: The areas around Loch Lomand are other places that specifically would have significance for you, in the region North of Edinburgh. What one learns is learned through intense perception, and it can occur as intensely as telepathic information, or as mildly as perceived images of individuals, emotions, events, power, sorrow, elation.
C: On a similar line, what about methods of fortune telling, such as tarot, or the i-ching? I have used tarot sometimes in the past, it often seemed to provide insightful comments, both for me and for others. 'A' used to prefer the i-ching, and seemed to get helpful input from that.
M: I-Ching is a method of meditation and perception, while tarot invokes concepts that do not make sense to me. From that, my identity would be with I-Ching. I have seen and participated with Tarot practitioners, and what can be perceived, they tend to use "the cards" as support props for perceptions that can be very accurate. They claim to read the cards, but the impressions come from empathic perception that they ascribe to the cards when in my opinion, they are not.
C: These seem to allow one to tap into your unconsciousness, or perhaps other attention levels. They would point to areas that one should work on.
M: Understood.
C: To switch to a more current topic, your comments about how to work on developing empathic powers was much appreciated. 'A' pointed out that I use these abilities when in the outdoors, to stalk or approach a wild thing. One concentrates on the animal, or bird, and approaches it as close as it will allow, before it gets upset. You can even consciously think 'peace, calm, no harm' towards an animal, and sense/watch it relax, go back to grazing or preening, and let you come much closer.
M: Yes. Completely agree and utilized.
C: Most wildlife photographers do this. RM probably does this in her photography.
M: We both do: it's a hobby we share. You might be interested in a few (more) of our photos that I have on file in the computer.
C: Your suggestion of reading people when we are watching birds will be interesting. I don't have anybody here in Rockport, aside from 'A', to experiment w/this, so I will have to 'be stealthy' and try it w/strangers. Maybe we can play w/this in Austin, over Thanksgiving.
M: Will be informative for you. There is a "park" behind the Marriott near the Capitol building in Austin. A "walk" through that specific "park" will be very interesting to you in terms of perception: this regarding the "spots" noted above. The Canyon Chelly and Canyon Muerta in Arizona would be extraordinarily intense for you. My experiences there would rival the most outrageous CC reports.
C: Just realized this morning in bed, that if I can use my empathic abilities more openly on the first level, perhaps I will be able to use them more in 2nd level in dreams, when someone approaches me. My dreams seem as real as this waking level, in my memories there is no difference. So by doing something actively in 1st level, it should get me in training for 2nd level stuff.
M: Yes. For myself, all levels of attention are omnipresent.
C: Your comments that I should attempt to communicate w/entities in my dreams telepathically was unexpected, I was thinking of talking out loud to them. On the flight to Morocco, I had a window seat and an unknown woman was on the aisle. At one stage I wanted to go to the bathroom, and she was asleep. I didn't want to wake her by crawling over her, so I consciously thought at her to wake up and go to the bathroom. Very shortly, she woke up and immediately did that, so I could then get up and follow her. At the time, I was surprised, then thought, 'hey this is pretty neat'. Being on an airplane would be a good place to practice 'feeling', because one is so close to others.
M: <smile>
C: Re openness: you have said 'A' & I are going through different processes, with which we both agree. I'm able to be much more open to you, and as a result you are being more open back w/me, to maintain balance as you said.. 'A' seems to respond to you at times as more of a threat.
M: Yes, and in a way it is true. The references that are held on to so very pervasively are very threatened when exposed to myself.
C: This seems to be somewhat a female/male thing. Males by their nature are more competitive and tend to be more on guard.
M: Not in my experience. Some are, perhaps, however the intensity and intimacy of connections with others tend to indicate that defenses are unique to each individual, not to genders.
C: It would be interesting if you were female, how that would impact both of our feelings and actions. Gender is such a key thing on this level, if we eliminate it things can change quite a bit. It is all fascinating.
M: In the third attention, there is no gender. Experienced deep into the second attention and into the third are altering of one, forever, and even gender is perceived differently.
Love
Michael
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At 02:11 PM 11/18/2000 +0000, you wrote:
C: Dear Michael,
M: Hello, Dear 'C'.
C: Does one talk verbally on the 2nd attention level, or is all communication by telepathy, or empathic feeling?
M: It is telepathic, and empathic. All one has to do is "will" the conversation, and it occurs. One does not have to make any attempt at "speaking" in the sense of physiology of the body. If you want to practice the concept, then just "look" at (or think of) anyone, and project a word-based thought to him or her - in other words, "think" the words as a statement. Also, in the third attention there is what amounts to a "universal translator" as incredible as that may seem. Words willed in that manner are understood instantly no matter what organic language was the origination of an individual, to the point where the language is transparent and never "heard".
C: Do luminous beings speak? It would be great to communicate nonverbally, seeing as words can be so confusing.
M: Yes. This is precisely what happens.
C: Standing in the line at the grocery store, trying to 'feel' the people in front of you, then what? 'A' tried it this PM at the store, and picked up hostility. He feels one must be careful, people can feel your intent and usually don't like it.
M: It's possible that he might be projecting the feeling and simply picking up an echo of that feeling. Most humans don't project hostility, though a few do. Hostility takes too much energy to have on any regular basis, for most.
C: I have been rereading your earlier e-mails, because I'm sending some to P, and of course it leads to more questions. Do you ever get tired of our questions?
M: No, I do not.
C: Hope your other questioners don't take as much of your time as we do. You wouldn't have time for anything else.
M: Actually, compared to others, you are rather efficient in your dialogue approaches. You might be amazed what comes through this link in terms of volume.
C: In your first response to me, you mentioned to learn what has been truly expanded in the past 6 years. 6 years ago, in 1994, my mother died in the spring, after 17 years as a dialysis patient. My father had died a long time ago, when I was in my early 20's. The death of the remaining parent seems to be a major event, because then one is next in line, so to speak. There is no one left to take of you.
M: It was something of a "shock" when my father died in 1981. My mother, who I was extraordinarily close to, died in 1972 just after my daughter died, and as might have been said before, there were no tears - never were. When my father died ~ 9 years later, I was amazed to learn that there was actually a dependency on his "being there" as a backstop - just in case something really went wrong. He and self did not have a particularly "intimate" flow of our relationship, particularly in terms of problem solving/guidance, et al, so it was really "shocking" to realize "after" he died that I had no more "backstops" sort of like a "reserve force", if everything else had failed for me. It was both a fascinating and amazing learning experience, particularly about how subtle dependencies can be.
C: My mother was quite powerful, and had willed herself to continue living much longer than the doctors ever thought she would, far past medical statistics. She worried a lot about being kept alive by machines, hooked up to tubes in the hospital, and of course she was being kept alive by dialysis. She was worried about my sister, a year younger than myself, who has never been able to function well in society. We had talked many times about not keeping my mother alive artificially, past the point when her brain was aware, and I had promised her that would not happen. She was able to live by herself independently up to the end, driving herself to dialysis, shopping, whatever. When she went into the hospital for the last time, she was only in about 2 days before she died of heart failure. My brother the MD and I had specifically told the hospital she was not to be a 'code blue', and no resuscitation was wanted, a DNR, to let her go in peace. They did, even though she was in the intensive care unit. It was upsetting of course, but I always felt that her death was basically under her control, and at her choosing..
M: Yes. There is little doubt, none, that it was "on her will".
C: My plans w/'A' had always been to stay in LA until my mother's death, to help take care of her in her final years, then I would be able to leave and wander, travel, having taken care of my responsibilities to her. The other thing that held me in LA was our company. Having a company, w/employees and clients, is a tremendous burden. One can't just go in one day and say 'you're all laid off, here's your final check, good luck.' At least I couldn't. Nor could we just dump the clients, even though they were going to survive, obviously.
M: Yes. That is one reason, and a significant one, why despite several opportunities over decades, I've remained individual, in my own name alone.
C: 'A' did not want to get rid of the company. He was concerned about having enough money, and what was he going to do afterwards? We went through a couple of years, debating and arguing, while I got more and more impatient and short tempered. We tried to sell it, no good because the main thing we had to sell was our involvement. We tried to get a manager to come in and run it, but 2 different ones failed. 'A' was not able to run it on his own, he's too erratic and temperamental, not good at deadlines and not always patient w/clients, who as you know can be far more demanding than any boss.
M: Certainly.
C: I finally quit in 97, and he bought me out as a partner, at the price I named. 'A' has always trusted me too much financially, and not wanted to bother w/the boring bits concerning money and lawyers. He continued to pay me my salary as an employee, but I still seemed to be the one making the decisions and carrying the responsibilities as president.
M: Understood. That was your role, and it is your intrinsic response to situations, regardless of the title.
C: In 98 the other employees all suddenly seemed to find better things to do, move out of state w/their spouse getting a better job, start up their own company, go back to school, etc. We were able to farm out the clients, some to our own ex-employees for a percentage, and get it down to just 'A' in 99, maintaining the last few clients. It took as much effort, maybe more, to dismantle it than it had taken to get it going.
M: It's almost like a death. Not easy.
C: We sold our house in spring of 99 and left LA. 'A' still dealt w/a large client through the laptop for another year. Are these the experiences you're talking about, to learn from?
M: Oh yes. The experiences that are as profound as the one in this example, have a litany of many experiences within the envelope of the major event and they all offer their role to both of you as teachers.
C: The experiences of un-entangling oneself?
M: Yes, and learning what dependency is attached to each tendril that is being removed.
C: It felt like pulling out roots, of slowly removing tentacles sticker by sticker of a huge octopus that was dragging me down.
M: It was. No question. Good description.
C: What has been 'truly expanded', my own ability to search, the elimination of hangers on?
M: Yes, and from two viewpoints: the ones that attach TO you externally; and, the ones that YOU BOTH had setup from the inside-out.
C: 'A' & I have called them suckers, for others who seem to live off your energies.
M: Yes. Ayn Rand would be an appropriate read to this point.
C: Some people appear to surround themselves w/people they have to take care of, relatives who are dependant. They can never quit working, being on the treadmill, because they may have half a dozen or more of these dependants. Guess it's a good distraction.
M: It is far more than a distraction: it is a reference system of dependency; and for most that amounts to a reference system of the essence of self. That is understood to be an illusion of a reference system.
C: I have several friends right now, all female, who are caring for parents who are failing.
M: That by itself only describes a responsibility. The parents are of course dependent, but those taking care of the parents are structurally only meeting a responsibility - and saying "goodbye".
C: Some have taken their mother in to live w/them, had to get a bigger house, change jobs to be closer. Some are spending large amounts of money, so they are severely limited in what they can do.
M: Understand. Have had this experience during the period of my life that I call "the medical years".
C: Huge family fights are going on, especially when the parents have remarried and there are 2 sets of grown kids involved. Big fights over which kid is going to do what, how much money each will contribute.
M: Ah, the "rite" of self-importance.
C: It's ugly, and of course an enormous drain of energy. Some people just don't seem to want to die, or to be willing to move on. They hang on grimly, sucking away. I feel grateful that my mother didn't do that. I assume this is all under our control, and some are afraid to let go.
M: Yes. To support that there is for myself, personal experience in many examples, and there is also significant research.
C: You spoke of your 'medical years', so you know how much effort and time can be taken up by a long lingering death of a relative, not to mention money.
M: Yes: there's a echo....in here <smile>.
C: How does one deal w/a parent who can no longer care for themselves?
M: Take the emotional problem and make it a structural/management problem as a responsibility. Organize that like a responsibility.
C: Or a child who can't seem to grow up and be independent?
M: Eagle snacks. It cannot be the parents responsibility beyond some point, and in my own opinion, that point is about aged 25 years for the child. I've know 60-ish year olds that still act like teenagers. Eagle snacks.
C: Or one who never will, like a down's syndrome child? This could take the rest of your life.
M: I know. My first child, the one who died of leukemia, was a Down's child. After she died, I was drafted into a large foundation that supported these individuals, and like. Since the "A-list" of Hollywood had a major role in supporting us (some were my neighbors) in the foundation, my function was to be president/chairman for years and I knew and met with a large group of that "A-list" for quite a time. This was very informative, of course. Texas, BTW, has a good support structure for these situations: one of the best in the country. There ARE foundations to provide assistance. With that support, it can be made into a management problem and not an emotional morass.
C: Someone w/alzhimer's, for example? (however it's spelled) My sister, LeeAnn, is a case in point. She has always had problems, ever since school. Her IQ tested higher than mine when we were little, but she never did well in school, socially or scholastically. She was put in the special ed classes, which were a disaster. She became more and more removed from reality. I left at 18 and went away to school, and didn't spend much time around home after that. She finally got a menial job in a factory, making t-shirts, held it for 5 or so years and finally got laid off. She has never had another job. My mother supported her all her life, bought her a mobile home and a car.
M: Understand.
C: LeeAnn is not retarded, she can be clever and social when she wants. But most people avoid her, or take advantage of her. She was taking dance lessons, it was her big social outlet. She didn't have enough money to continue to pay for them, for several nights a week, so the dance studio showed her how to borrow money on her car, which was paid for by my mom. She then got in a major accident, totaled the car, and the bank took the insurance money, of course. So she was carless. My mom was shocked, how could the dance company be so unscrupulous? They just wanted money for continued lessons. Mom bought her another car, of course, but no more dance lessons.
M: Ah, yes, management problems become structural problems become emotional problems.
C: At my mom's death, I was the estate administrator, and split all assets evenly 3 ways, between my brother, LeeAnn and myself. So I know exactly how much she received. Not enough to live on the rest of her life, maybe 10 years or so if she is conservative. She's not, of course, and immediately bought herself a new $50,000 mobile home.
M: Is she bipolar?
C: Years ago, when 'A' & I came back at my other's brother's death in 85, I realized how dependent LeeAnn was on my mom. I got her into therapy, and the therapist wanted to see all 3 of us. Ok, fine, my goal was to get LeeAnn to be able to stand on her own feet, emotionally, finacially and socially, in preparation for my mom's death. After awhile, the therapist said my goal should be to accept LeeAnn as she is. My reaction was 'I don't need to pay you $150/hour to learn to accept her as she is. The grocer, the phone company and the people she pays rent to at the mobile home park aren't going to accept her as she is. When she can't pay her bills, they will toss her out.' I told LeeAnn and my mom, and the therapist, that I was worried I would be expected to pick up my mom's responsibilities on her death, and assume the care and feeding of my sister. I was not going to do this.
M: Oh dear.
C: Since then, I have had less and less to do with LeeAnn. At my mom's death, I handled everything fairly and accurately, though it would have been easy to take money from my siblings. They trusted me implicitly and the trust was deserved. I know LeeAnn will be broke soon, and will probably end up a bag lady on the streets. Is it my duty to care for her?
M: Obviously it is not my position to issue out "responsibility" tokens, and there is a temptation (that is to be resisted) to ply into the "if only" retrospective mode (relative to management). For myself, there is one process relative to viewing responsibilities - only one - and it is based upon myself and only myself and my own view of impeccability - again for myself, said with emphasis. Here goes......
As noted, I have faced clinical death, and during the "medical years" I have witnessed many deaths. In working with, literally, thousands of individuals (there could be many stories told) and attempting to nurture perhaps a hundred or more, one concept surfaces and it is very clear as an observer to define as significant. When one is at the threshold of organic death, and when one views oneself metaphorically (or literally) "in the mirror" of reflection of self, will one be satisfied with one's actions and decisions in past life?.
For myself, non-negotiable, irrefutably, incontrovertibly, under no condition (not subtle, huh?) will I allow any chance that I will find myself at some advanced aged to the point where there is insufficient time to recover, or in a relationship that by the death of another cannot be recovered/repaired/fixed - because of MY actions/decisions - where I cannot say "I did my best for my impeccability".
Every action, every engagement, every decision made carries this connotation behind it.
You and 'A' are beginning to learn very much about myself, and to a very large extent any limitations regarding the significance of this are perceived in your own abilities to absorb concepts. There is one elementary truth that is time to bring to fore about myself and this is said with intensity and commensurate emphasis. My interaction with you, is for myself: there is no altruism. Without going into high detail, and being (as 'A' would say) the essence of "sneaky", please consider this concept. Imagine that however it came to be, you - personally - had the ability and even the propensity to impact others as a facilitator to advance their evolution, and in a manner that carries only an agenda that they each discover individually for themselves, as their own discoveries. Now, consider, (and here it becomes more intense) that you - personally - however it came to be, had "knowledge" what the outcome would be for each individual with whom you are engaged, IF YOU DID NOT extend yourself to engage with each individual. From this, there is caring, for self. If you, 'A', or for that matter anyone, said to me "go away" in any term in any emphasis, in any depreciation, then my need for my own impeccability is fully met because with that decision, and absent any dependency on any but myself, when the moment comes to reflect in that metaphorical mirror, I can say at any moment or at any time frame "I have done my best", for myself. You, 'A', or any other may succeed or fail, in your achievement for your own attainment of evolution, and no matter what may occur with and within yourselves, in that "mirror" for myself, I will be able to state "I have done my best".
Now, you (and through you, 'A') know much more, perhaps. Another veil is dropped.
C: Am I treating her in an impeccable manner? 'A' says 'in the question is the answer', or if I feel the need to ask it, the answer must be 'no, not completely.' But, in a case like this, is it one's responsibility to care for others, at any cost to oneself?
M: Noted/provided above.
C: Once again, a simple e-mail to you expands to far more than I had planned. Talking to you is like talking to myself, only more unemotional.
M: It is probably more true than you might imagine. Not all veils are dropped.
C: On a lighter note, you're probably off w/RM for the weekend in Palm Springs, screwing your brains out. More power to you.
M: I wish.....though we had a good weekend, yes with sex included. Yesterday we packed up the Nikon bag and went to wildlife preserve, explored birds and took photographs as is our hobby. You'd enjoy some of our gallery. It's not warmer in Palm Springs than it is here (about mid-70's) and we get naked time in our back yard, and will have more of that today.
C: It's cold and wet here in Rockport, windows all steamed up in the camper, in the 40's.
Thanks as always, Much love,
M: Returned, and expanded.
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At 08:36 AM 11/20/2000 -0600, you wrote:
C: Dear Michael, ####
Glad you're recovered from ISP hassles. In your last e-mail, you mentioned several places that would have significance for me.
"M: The areas around Loch Lomand are other places that specifically would have significance for you, in the region North of Edinburgh. What one learns is learned through intense perception, and it can occur as intensely as telepathic information, or as mildly as perceived images of individuals, emotions, events, power, sorrow, elation."
Do you mean for me, individually? That is what I think you mean. Or do you mean for anyone who has a certain set of abilities?
M: Ah, well, if one "has the abilities" then it is personal. Period. (After my last file to you, I'm being coy.)
C: If for me specifically, how do you perceive that? Is it something tied into my DNA?
M: Yes, and loudly YES! (Well, not toooooo coy.)
C: I understand you have greatly enhanced perceptions, but does that mean you can look at anyone and 'see' significant connections that being has with certain places?
M: Yes. Slowly, you are being exposed to more and more. As noted in the prior e/mail, the limitation on what is opened/exposed to you is based on perception of your own "absorbsion" rate. Now, I'll open more: in the process of opening myself, it is useful to expose, in a careful sequence, pieces that have direct levels of being appropriate to the exchange with an individual at a time. In that manner, the significance can be understood and learned more "in real time" where it can be not just "blah-blah" but effective as "real" and soon experienced.
C: We were thinking of going up to Scotland, past Edinburgh, for certain northern birds, and your comments have encouraged me to go for additional reasons. We're going to rent a car for a month or more, drive to Spain, and maybe drive back to London and head north.
M: Don't let the tyres get too wet across the channel <smile>. The area around Cambridge would also have an impact on you.
C: April/May is such a perfect time to be anywhere in the northern hemisphere, for migration, might as well see as much of it as possible while there.
M: Yes. If you have the time, you might scoot across to Norway: more impact there for you, particularly around Tromso.
C: It would be interesting to hear more of your experiences in the Canyon Chelly, it is a place I've always wanted to go to. Will try to walk through the 'park' in Austin.
M: One thing at a time.
C: A dream I had the other night was interesting (one of my favorite words lately).
M: <smile>
C: I was driving some sort of tank where I laid on top of it and steered w/my hands on a joy stick. I got off in the dirt, tried to turn around and went off a cliff into a pool, about a 20' drop. There was no fear, just I deliberately thought I had to control the vehicle and keep it right under me.
M: Excellent.
C: When I hit the water, snakes started coming toward me from the bank. I thought at them, no, stay away, leave me alone. It was difficult, because I was also concentrating on keeping the vehicle under me, holding it up w/my intent, and paddling my feet so I could move to the bank. It was a small pool, and I got the vehicle to the edge, where the treads were able to climb up out of the pool, running w/water. Because I held the vehicle up by my will, it did not fall to the bottom of the pool, as a car normally would have done. Were the snakes allies? Who knows, but they stayed away when I willed them to. I felt these were more tests for fear, and I was thrilled this AM when talking to 'A' about it to realize that I had felt none.
M: This might be emotional, or at the least provocative, but you ARE being prepared to eventually journey into the third attention. It is probably inappropriate that the detail of this be opened at this point, however the construction of what you have reported contain many of the elements of what travel as a free inorganic being of sentient consciousness into the third attention really requires. If you wish a "homework" assignment, you have it: study your paragraph and report above, compile that back into the experience of your dream, and make a separate report to me using this paragraph to light your imagination.
C: Feel free to send me more of your photos, I would enjoy them. Just saw on tv a beautiful shot of how clear LA is this morning, they were saying they could see all the way to Point Mugu. I'm jealous, one of the BIG advantages of living in LA is the world's best weather. 4th quarter/fall was always my favorite time there.
M: <smile> I'll send off some photos for you.
Love
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At 01:49 PM 11/20/2000 -0600, you wrote:
C: Dear Michael,
There should be a better word than just 'thanks', but for now, that's all I can say. I'm counting on your picking up some of my upswelling of emotions, in intensity and appreciation of your 'reflections'.
M: Yes. It was perceived that this would occur. Over the years, it has poised difficulty (as you might imagine) for myself if for no other reason, the responsibilities can seen enormous. In the "posted dialogues" there is a quote to the daughter of an person I work with whom I regularly conjoined, and it goes (paraphrasing myself).."you hold in your hands based upon your intent and will, access to the power of the universe.......and bring others to the same destiny...".
C: So, I must communicate w/my sister. Your description of judging your own actions, subtle as it was, in the mirror as having done own's best, was perfect. I have made many decisions in my past w/this as my guide. If it was printed on the front page of the LA Times, would I be comfortable w/it? Your mirror is even better, because it is being judged only by one's self, not by all the readers of the paper.
M: Yes: the only judge of validity is you.
C: There were many times in our business where I had the chance to be sneaky or unethical to my advantage and no one would ever know, except myself. My decisions were always based on my strict code of honor, as I thought of it. If I could not look back and be comfortable w/the decision, then it was wrong. I always felt better, stronger, cleaner, after making the 'right' decision. Who cares if it cost me money, sometimes a lot of money, tens of thousands of dollars. What is money, after all?
M: Well, there is a great philosophical lesson in Atlas Shrugged on "money" and it's probably the most ethical statement on capitalism ever made since Adam Smith's "Wealth of Nations".
C: Invariably, when the correct decision was made, the client was informed of the fuck up, whatever, the 'bad' result was not near as awful as I had feared, and it often led to much better results. It certainly several times led to extremely loyal clients, when they found out later that we had taken the high road, so to speak. If nothing else, I could sleep well and be at ease w/myself.
M: Impeccability tends to yield peace.
C: It seems easier to make such decisions about work rather than about personal relationships. My sister is a sucker, I have seen her pull many people down to endless energy drains. I don't think she is bipolar.
If I understand your bit about being a facilitator and having the 'knowledge' as to what the outcome would be if I did not extend myself to a certain individual, then I have no choice, I must extend myself to my sister. To maintain my own impeccability.
M: Yes.
C: Perhaps I can help facilitate some things for her?
M: Perhaps: the tests for you will be impressive.
C: She seems to be one of those 'yes, but' people. The kind you can say 'why don't you try this?' and they respond 'yes, but there is another problem'. They always have an excuse why they are still in the shit.
I must admit, if she were to die now, I would not be able to say I had done my best. If she tells me to 'go away', then my impeccability is maintained, and I can freely leave her alone. But I must approach her, and see what if anything she needs.
M: Yes. The need: organization.
C: SHIT
The fact that I am bothered so much by this also tells me what I need to do. The fact that I have ignored her has bugged me for a long time. I will call her and get her e-mail address. That will hopefully be an easier way to stay in touch.
You are not an easy teacher, but a mirror never is.
M: Consider being that mirror.
C: Continuing love, 'C'
M: Returned.
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At 01:59 PM 11/20/2000 -0600, you wrote:
C: Liked your shots, especially the bird of paradise and the artsy fartsy leaf. How close were you to the rhinos?
M: Thank you. Rather close. I/we "have" actually "petted" rhinos, and fed them by hand - even adults.
C: Nice shot too of Lake Morraine. I was there a few years ago, and it was breathtaking, in spite of all the other tourists. Would love to see it in the winter. Do you do anything w/your photos, do slide shows or try to sell them? Or just collect them for your own enjoyment?
M: It's just for ourselves. We have thought of entering a photo contest, and we may. That "bird of paradise" flower, BTW, was only about one to two inches in size. The photo was taken with "big glass" setup to by using depth-of-field limitations to blur the background.
C: You would have loved Morocco, from a photographer's point of view. Lots of fascinating things to look at. One day while waiting in the van there were 3 men sitting outside their shops in front of us. They were all dressed in traditional garb, long robes, some w/points in their hoods, looked like something out of star wars, or druids. The great part was one of them kept using his cell phone. It would have been a perfect ad for AT&T.
M: Understand. We have a great collection from our travels internationally.
C: Love
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At 06:41 PM 11/20/2000 -0600, you wrote:
C: Dear Michael,
So, run this by me again slowly, for us not quite so evolved beings.
M: Hummm......
C: In your coyness and sneakiness modes, you have been leading us both to the realization that our long term evolution, if we should choose to accept it, will take us to functioning as facilitators to others, as you do. Correct? For some reason, the reverberations of this just today managed to fully penetrate my consciousness.
M: <smile> Yes. There is more, as you might suspect however that "was" a rather large leap for you to grasp. Congratulations. It is required to be added, though, that the process of your individual evolutions cause (as has been attempted to be said clearly in various methods) awareness and abilities and (said very loudly) for every ability there are commensurate responsibilities. Every one you come into contact with, every decision, every action, are "touched" in varying degrees by your evolution. It is, humbly said, your decision and all you have to so is say "stop", and so it will be.
C: When 'A' & I have been talking about his cousin, I had told him to look at answering her comments like you do ours. She has said some things to him that have been difficult for him to deal with, and picking up answers that you have given us as helped. When I pointed out to 'A' that he was acting as a facilitator w/her, he disagreed at first, but now is in agreement. Of course, 'A' is responsible for both P and me talking to you. As you have said, it's all a pyramid.
M: Oh yes. You might be very surprised how large it really is.
C: Once again, it's not such a big deal when 'A' does it, but me deal in such a manner w/my sister! Wait a moment, now. I'm not sure I like the sound of your 'the tests for you will be impressive'. Sounds like when a client would call and say, 'we have a real challenge here'. Usually when they had forgotten to plan something.
M: No. Not at all. It was intended with embrace to alert you to the need for care of yourself and the impeccability that attends this condition.
C: I have been thinking, 'cool, can't wait to get more and more into this 2nd and 3rd attention stuff'. Particularly liked your comments about telepathy not caring which language a being spoke in the 1st level, they can all communicate on the higher levels, like with some sort of instant translator. Wish I had that here now. I know, you have repeatedly said there were increased responsibilities as one gained increased abilities, but as I said, some of us are slow.
M: Somehow, in my glee, there's a reflex to say something. Okay, "bingo!".
C: Thanks again for your patience.
Love returned.
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At 07:17 PM 11/20/2000 -0600, you wrote:
C: Dear Michael,
Cambridge, huh? I have always wanted to take some classes there, maybe some type of history for a semester or so. Dabble, dabble. Live in a dorm or neat old apartment, wander all around the town, find the great little cafes and bars, do the student thing. Not a bad life.
M: You won't have to take classes, but wandering about town, a cafe and a bar, yes you will learn more.
C: I went there a few years ago when I had a week in Britain on my own, went up birding in East Anglia at some of the wonderful RSPB reserves, and spent a night in Cambridge. Loved it then, and planned to go back some time.
M: <smile>
C: "Slowly, you are being exposed to more and more. As noted in the prior e/mail, the limitation on what is opened/exposed to you is based on perception of your own "absorbsion" rate. Now, I'll open more: in the process of opening myself, it is useful to expose, in a careful sequence, pieces that have direct levels of being appropriate to the exchange with an individual at a time. In that manner, the significance can be understood and learned more "in real time" where it can be not just "blah-blah" but effective as "real" and soon experienced." OK, my rate of absorption must not be as good as you think it is. The above sounds fascinating, but I'm not quite getting it all. By 'real time' do you mean the 2 of us, you and me, in the same physical place together? Or on the phone, not through e-mail? Or do you mean something else, something more obtuse?
M: Events can be obtuse and still be direct: it is only a matter of the approach vector.
C: How do pieces have direct levels of being, let alone appropriate to the exchange w/an individual? Sorry if I'm exceptionally dense. Sometimes going through your responses, my head hurts.
M: Sorry. Rest on it for now. It has been a very intense day for both of you. Make love in cuddling.
C: I'll work on your 'homework' assignment, and get back to you.
Thanks as always.
Love
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M: Just checking, though your (probably) response was perceived as below. For yourself and separately for 'A' as evidenced by his reactions "with" myself, these matters evolve to become significant events in one's life, and it is a matter for my own impeccability (as well as yours) to test even first attention responses.
Michael
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At 08:39 PM 11/20/2000 -0600, you wrote:
C: I can't imagine being able to stop now, let alone wanting to! My feelings are more like 'Hot Shit, let's go!'
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At 09:24 AM 11/21/2000 -0600, you wrote:
C: Dear Michael,
Reviewing my dream, I feel your assignment is to point out and talk about the elements that were 3rd attention level useful.
M: Yes. There are close analogies.
C: They seemed to be my using my intent or will to consciously hold the tank beneath my body, especially while falling into the pond and then crossing the water to come up the bank. I view the use of the vehicle as training wheels, I realize one doesn't need an actual vehicle to travel in the 3rd attention level.
M: Very close, appropriately. Consider what you are intending to "hold on to". Remember, not to be (only) provocative, but in truth, "you have no body" in the third attention. All life, all sentience, in the third attention is inorganic. Now, consider that, add intent and will, and contemplate what you might be "holding on to" as a coherent structure. Re "the vehicle", consider that there are forces that provide propulsion and velocity. This, just to add some impetus for you, is obviously preparatory in construct.
C: Also the snakes, the fact that I held them off again by intent or will. Not through fear or violence, I didn't attack them, just told them no, to stay away.
M: Yes. You "were instructed" by example to void fear as a concept and hence remove an extraordinary human form dependency. Fear is often used as a parasite that regresses evolution.
C: It took concentration, to both hold up the vehicle and hold off the snakes at the same time, as well as paddle or move myself across the water and up the bank, but it was done.
M: Bingo!, yet again. Enhance this concept further: you are so very close. Once again, you will have no body. You are so close to an "ah-ha!" it is very tempting just to nudge a little more.
C: A thought the snakes might have been allies, and P thought they were petty tyrants of the 1st attention level, trying to bite me in the ass while I was busy w/other important things, but I felt they were just another potential fear to be held off or overcome.
M: More "hint": the snakes were established "by" allies. The purpose of the snakes was to test your resolve in a twofold manner: a) to learn if your resolution and commit was sufficient to void fear; b) to learn if having voided fear you had the ability to maintain intent on "holding" something "while" potentially moving with a vehicle.
C: Part of the test; ok now we know she's not afraid of snakes, next time it will be something else, maybe spiders. Fortunately I'm not afraid of spiders either. I'm sure they will keep going, attempting to find what I am afraid of.
M: <smile It, absolutely, incontrovertibly, non-negotiably, irrefutably, is wholly necessary that "in travel" one has wholly no fear; one must has whole intent to "hold something" together (still trying to be leading for impetus); one has to accomplish these feats despite flash/impulse surprises in a coherent and wholly consistent manner; and, one must execute these patterns of self "while moving" with a vehicle. Hints, thinly disguised as questions: What is being held?; and what is the vehicle in motion?.
C: The whole thing makes me think of pilots in flight simulators. 'They', the testers, keep piling on more and more problems until the pilot overloads and the plane crashes. 4, 5, or 6 things go wrong, warning lights flashing, sirens going off. How does the pilot cope w/stress, maintain his/her cool, stay unemotional and make correct decisions?
M: Ah, another "bingo".
C: Anyone will 'crack' if enough things go wrong, but to fly a commercial jet one must be able to handle an enormous number of problems simultaneously. I have seen videos of test pilots being trained, or seals or air force top gun types, where they are projected unside down into a pool w/all their gear, strapped in a seat w/helmet on, and they have to get themselves unhooked and free, buckles and helmet off, so they can swim to the top of the pool, or they drown. Training matters, or the military wouldn't spend so much time and money on it. That way, a trained entity knows what to do when presented w/a new circumstance. They know instantaneously, w/out hesitation, or they die, or fail.
M: More "bingo"! With this, please imagine that if all "surprises" are just lumped together as a single category "surprises", and that one does not have to deal with some huge number of events, other than as outlined through description and hints above, you are so very close.....
C: Enough for now, we have to get going to Austin. Will be in touch by e-mail, aren't laptops wonderful?
C: Fascinating shit, huh? Thanks again.
M: Indeed. Fascinating.
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